


Philophobia

by Trans_Nerd



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Philophobia, Spanking, its not sexual though its playful, mostly fluff tho, sexual stuff implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10763613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trans_Nerd/pseuds/Trans_Nerd
Summary: Izaya was no stranger to hatred, but love?Love was something worth fearing.





	Philophobia

Shizuo’s love felt strange. Accepting it had taken Izaya months, but it had been worth it.

One month in, he let himself be touched. Two months in, he didn’t leave the bed immediately upon waking up beside Shizuo. Three months in, he paid for the other man’s movie ticket on dates. Four months in, he stopped carrying his switchblade when he was around him. This had been the pinnacle of trust for Izaya.

He felt vaguely panicky as he forced himself to lean against Shizuo’s shoulder in the totally empty theater. His heart sped up when he felt Shizuo wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him in closer. Izaya swallowed and lost his focus on the movie, instead choosing to suppress a horrid panic attack for an hour and forty-three minutes.

Once the movie ended, the two headed back to their hotel in a taxicab. They didn’t hold hands or talk, instead choosing to look out of their respective windows at the figures that zoomed by. Shizuo leaned against the window casually, while Izaya sat with his hands in his lap. Shizuo had obviously sensed his mood.

They always booked hotel rooms when they went on dates. Dating in Ikebukuro was too messy; with each man’s status, they would no doubt get questions, harassment, and death threats. Not for being gay, but simply for being who they were—one was the most hated man, and the other was the most feared man. Anyone who wanted Izaya’s head on a platter might opt for Shizuo instead, and the reverse applied as well.

So, their dates took place outside of their beloved district and even outside of their beloved city of Tokyo. Instead, they went on dates out in the countryside. They were boring dates, but Shizuo seemed to love them. Being in rural areas made Shizuo look peaceful and happy, and Izaya could appreciate that if not anything else.

Of course, the two men couldn’t return to ‘bukuro side by side. No, they needed to book a room at a local inn, spend a night there, then depart separately with an hour or two between them. It was so complicated, but it was how things needed to be.

Izaya didn’t mind. He’d travel halfway across the world for each date if he needed. He even had the money to do so.

Shizuo, on the other hand, was even less practical.

“I don’t care,” he had said when they had first begun courting each other. “If anyone tries to hurt you, I’ll just beat them up.”

“You could get shot,” Izaya had worried.

“I’ve _been_ shot—three times,” was Shizuo’s response.

But Izaya wouldn’t hear any of it, so they finished their awkward, anxiety-ridden movie date and crashed at the hotel. At least, Izaya did. His emotions had exhausted him and made him collapse onto the bed with outstretched limbs. He wasn’t even wearing pajamas, but he had at least had the decency to remove his shirt and pants. He was clad in only his underwear.

“Somethin’ wrong?” Shizuo asked. After removing his shirt and pants, he crawled over to Izaya on the queen-sized bed. Izaya made a small, muffled noise.

Shizuo smiled at his boyfriend. Then, his eyes traveled down to Izaya’s butt; it was a round little tush, covered by red boxer briefs. His eyes traveled back up to Izaya’s hair. Then his butt. Izaya. Butt. Izaya. Butt.

Shizuo’s hand came down and gave Izaya’s ass a firm smack.

He made sure not to apply too much pressure; he didn’t want to leave any bruises. Izaya snorted and rolled over, hiding his red face in his hands. Shizuo chuckled and pulled Izaya’s hands down so he could hold them both.

“What has you in such a playful mood?” Izaya asked, biting down on his lip to withhold his laughter. Shizuo shrugged and pulled Izaya into his arms. The skin on skin contact felt intimate. It was hot and real and almost otherworldly. Almost.

It was other-town-ly, at least. It couldn’t exist in Ikebukuro, after all.

“You seemed scared, so I wanted you to know that I can be silly, too, Izaya,” Shizuo explained.

“Of course you can,” Izaya muttered faintly. He was confused; he was too tired to think anymore. Shizuo took the opportunity to pepper the smaller man’s neck with soft, sweet kisses. His boyfriend was clearly still troubled, and it made him frown.

“I’ll love you when you’re ready to talk about whatever’s troubling you,” Shizuo murmured into the crook of his neck, “and I’ll love you when you’re not ready to talk about it, too.”

“Thanks,” Izaya managed to say. The truth was that he was overwhelmed by Shizuo’s love and affection and didn’t know what to do with it. Thanking him seemed to be the best course of action for now.

He hummed as Shizuo kissed him. It was scary, but he liked it. He loved pushing himself to the limit to see what he could handle. Hell, he lived for it.

The feeling of trusting someone so intimately like this was new. It was a thrill. Still, he couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling that settled deep within him.

At the same time, though, trusting Shizuo was just so damn _easy_. The hand that gripped his hips felt protective and safe, and all of Shizuo felt so _warm_ …

Izaya fell asleep like that, as did Shizuo.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Philophobia can be really difficult to have, and I headcanon Izaya as having it, so yeah. :P 
> 
> I LIVE for comments- if you comment, thank you so much!!! 
> 
> If you don't comment, thank you for reading!!!!!


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